​Believe you me I have had difficult situations - physical & sexual abuse as a child. Bullying and persecution from colleagues whilst nursing - The Caring Profession - not so much towards each other. I have had many a dark night of the soul wrestling grief and thoughts going around and around unceasingly. I was given the diagnosis of P.T.S.D - I thought that this term was only applicable to front line Military Personnel - but no, if you apply enough continuous, malicious pressure and layer on stressful life events to a person - you can break them. 

I had a full-on breakdown.

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I grieved for my job that I could not return to as my anxiety levels were so high and so situation specific that I could be triggered by the NHS logo into a panic attack. The depression was like wading through treacle - so heavy - everything was an effort and often impossible. When I left the house, which was rare and usually to attend a medical / psychiatric appointment I was hyper-vigilant perceiving that threats were behind every corner, I scanned every white Ford Focus for the personalised number plate of my chief tormentor, the "friend" who had betrayed me and cost me my job. NOT because I could not practice as a Mental Health Nurse - my clients received 110% from me but because I could not enter an NHS premises as I felt I could not trust all my colleagues. The anxiety was too high.

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I was medically retired - on the scrapheap at 49 after 28 years of service. Nursing was all I knew so I felt I had lost my identity.

I knew I needed help but also knew that as a trained counsellor myself, receiving traditional counselling / CBT would mean a long wait and that I could not and would not engage - I knew all the tricks in the book to please the therapist without doing any work.

Yet, I needed to do what is called "my shadow work" where you look at and purge out all your negatives, all thoughts, behaviour's values and beliefs that no longer serve you.

My husband asked me when was the last time I was completely happy, where was my bliss?

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(I did not marry until I was 47, I didn't want to push a pram, I wanted to pull a suitcase around the world - plus after observing my parents and being a recipient of their parenting, I could not take the risk that in a moment of madness I would not turn into my Mother and strike a child). 

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I had been blessed to have experienced life in an ashram on mainland Malaysia when I was backpacking in Penang. Siva, the Guru taught me many things and gave me many experiences. I incorporated these practices into my life and was blessed with bliss and abundance.

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At the time I should have been really practicing and benefitting from these techniques, my practicing dwindled as stress overwhelmed me - getting through a day was hard enough without then having to find a quiet place where my negative thoughts could run rampant and overwhelm me. Thoughts that I tried to self-medicate into silence with alcohol and food.

 

I was 23 stone and when "put on the sick" I began drinking heavily.

My husband’s question on the last time that I had been truly immersed in bliss, led him to seek out a different sort of Therapist, a Therapist that I could work with. I was blessed to find exactly what I needed with a woman I could trust and feel comfortable with.

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The Universe conspired to put us together in response to my husband’s vibrations sent out as he sought support for his wife.

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I had to do the work but was supported every step of the way.

I was introduced to various techniques and practices. All of which were safe, comfortable and useful and that I could practice independently.

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I now use and teach these techniques to others enabling them better to manage the emotional stress of everyday life.

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I had 6 months of weekly, hour long appointments.

 

But this is my journey and my recovery. Everyone's journey is different, and it is important not to judge a person by the chapter that you walk in on. It is no exaggeration to say that it not only saved my life but changed my life.

 

 

 

I stopped drinking and lost 13 stone! 

I adopted healthy habits and routines.

I recovered my bliss.

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I have always maintained that I wanted to do good rather than well and that I wanted to touch on people’s lives and make a positive difference.

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I began teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages. I qualified in both TESOL and TEFL I continue to offer this 1:1 private English tuition as well as working as a volunteer teacher for PARCA - Peterborough Asylum Seeker and Refugee Community Association.

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The pull towards delivering high quality care to others with Mental Health Issues, which had led me to be a Mental Health Practitioner and CPN, was still strong.

I acknowledged this pull and studied and practiced hard to provide Holistic Health care for ALL.

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I trained studied and am experienced as a Spiritual Life Coach Certificated by The Centre of Excellence with a distinction.

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I am certificated and accredited in: -

• Reiki,

• Reflexology,

• Massage,

• Indian Head Massage,

• Aromatherapy,

• Crystal Therapy,

 - treatments for you to enjoy and reap the benefits of.

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